"So you are zee shy one, non?

"So you are zee shy one, non? No matter Madame, I am zee model of zee...how do you say, deescretion? Non, non, non, Madame I am not suggesting anytheeng. I am but un pauvre soldier on zee how do you say...leave.... from ze Legion. I could not help but notice you are sitting alone and I thought perhaps you would allow me to join you for a moment or two. Merci Madame, you are very kind. Garcon! Champagne! Tres vite! I must confess I did not anticipate such a charming and beautiful companion for dinner...Oh please Madame, why not join me for my last meal before I return to ze regiment. A soldier's future is never all that certain as you know, but now I will be sure to find a way to return... to this cafe...to sit again at this very table where I have just met you. I must say you are how do you say...very chic and buxom....Ouch Madame! Forgive me ma petite, I deserved that. Cursed hand, it has a mind of it's own. I am perhaps intoxicated by that fragrance you are wearing....tell me what it is so I may sprinkle it on my pack. Soap? Surely you make the Beau Geste Madame! Ivory you say? Surely you have had it created just for yourself? Mais Non? Wal-Mart!!! Sacre Bleu, my little flower, you must be making the....how do you say...jokes upon me? No matter, I will purchase some tomorrow and keep it with me at the front and when I intake it's delightful fragrance I will think of your wonderful hips....May I touch them? Merde!!!! You are surprisingly quick and powerful with that fork, my little flower. Non non non No need to bandage it, I'm sure it will be fine. It's not as bad as the other one. Do you suppose that the chef has ...how do you call it...a blender? And perhaps a straw. More champagne? Would you mind... how do you say...to do the pouring?"