Byrons Ramblings

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Location: Dryden, Ontario, Canada

Friday, November 5, 2010

Everyday is Judgment Day

Today I will make many judgments, big and small. I will judge others, and I will judge myself. Anyone who says they are non-judgmental is only half right.
We don't often think of the many little judgments we make in the course of our daily life. We see and hear a young man rev his engine and squeal his tires and we know he is a fool. We see the numbers 4:20 scrawled on urban walls and think the world is going to pot. We see greenish wieners marked down at the local grocers and decide they don't care about the poor or the poorly sighted.
We see an avowed Christian acting in a decidedly non-Christian fashion and feel their values are false.
What we are doing here is assuming, based on action or inaction, that we have the insight to determine what is essentially right or wrong. Deciding whether young people are good or bad is like making the call on a painting which is still only half done...still resting upon the artists easel and awaiting the artists brush. Perhaps the grocer is colour blind, and unaware of the condition of the packaged meat. Maybe the religious person is like every other person on earth, struggling on their own spiritual journey and mired in a place where they are feeling helpless to act. Even though they feel they know what is the right thing, they just can't do it.
I know how much I abhor feeling like I am being judged, and rail against what I consider any false authority which condemns me. Yet I do it to others.
Conversely, if others praise me, I am greatly inclined to think better of them.
I wonder if the answer doesn't lie somewhere in the pack mentality of the animals. In the pecking order of the social group. In a constant comparison of ourselves against others. Knowing ones' status in society has pluses and minuses. If we are able to look down, we are able to look up.
I wish I could stop doing it. I wish others would stop doing it to me. Will that happen? I do not think so. Even Christ passed judgment on the self-proclaimed and by the book righteous, and forced them to trade places with the outcasts.
In my humble judgment, I am in no way better than he, and I think we can all agree that is a good call.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Recipe

TUNA MELTS:
A fine bachelor recipe...

Get a bowl and a spoon and a knife.
Drain one or two tins of politically approved tuna. Empty can(s) into the bowl
Mix ( in the bowl) with one tin of drained non-hallucinogenic mushrooms.
(Chopped is good.)
Add one tin of mushroom soup to the bowl...do not add water!
Add several chopped green onions to the bowl
Mix ingredients into a creamy mush...IN THE BOWL!

Pour mixture onto either split hot dog buns, hamburger buns, or for you high-falutin types...rye bread.

Add good cheese slices (unwrapped) to each portion. (On top)
Grated or thin sliced cheddar is also very good, particularly with the rye bread.

Place buns on oven proof tray and place into a preheated oven @ 350 for approx. 12 minutes. Monitor to make sure the cheese slices are not blackening.

Remove and allow to cool for at least 5 minutes.
Enjoy!
A couple of dill pickles and some potato chips on the side take this to to a whole other culinary level...darn near deli.

If all you have is a microwave and a toaster the rye bread works very well.
Toast it first and preheat the mushy mixture while still in the bowl for about 2 minutes on high. Remove from the microwave and ladle onto the toast , top with the cheese and return finished portions to the microwave on high for about two minutes. Once again allow some cooling time or risk a serious burn to the mouth and chin area when the cheese slice plops off and drops across your chin.
Trust me, this is not a fun experience. Be patient, fellas.

I recommend this meal for watching television as it requires no utensils and can be guided by muscle memory straight into the mouth. It also does not require a lot of chewing. Clean up consists of taking the bowl, the spoon and the knife to the sink. Beauty!

I had this idea for a bachelor cookbook for novelty gift stores.
"The Complete Bachelor Cookbook"
Inside one would find a can opener. That's it.
If anyone is inclined, you are free to run with this idea.