Is having no Complaints still a Complaint?

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, but I have no complaints.
Mind you it is very early in the day and something may come up later.
In truth I am often a whiner (that's whiner, not weiner) and will bombard any listeners' ears with a myriad of pitiful problems at a moments' notice.
But this morning, I just don't have anything much to complain about.

I suppose I could complain about my health problems, but they are self-inflicted.
"Don't complain to me when you are a full blown medical mess!"
A loved one used to say this to me with some real fervour, and as it turns out I don't complain to her. Okay, I can't, but that is a long involved story which will have you complaining long before I reach its already predictable end.
I could lock step with the rest of my fellow Canadians and complain about the weather, but it has been wonderfully mild for weeks, and mild in December is certainly a bonus track on the winter weather pathway.
I could complain about my love life but that would not be warranted. I am in love as never before so where's the beef?
I could complain about my beloved bumbling Leafs, but so far they are having their best season in decades.
Let's see now...what else is there?
>Mail delivery is prompt and they even pick up outgoing right in my building.
>I no longer have a vehicle so gas prices don't wear on me.
>My instruments are paid for.
>I just had a visit from my son and some dear friends.
>My moustache is coming in nicely.
>I have new glasses.
>I have a pet companion (new)and as cats go she is a fine one.
>I still have two shirts that fit.
>My God loves me.
Wait a minute!
I think that last one should uninstall my complaint department.
Hmm, maybe I should take on complaints from other people. Naw, I would end up complaining about the way they'll complain about how I handle their complaints and really who needs it?
An elderly fellow in Tims, a man I have never met, made conversation with me by saying he didn't realize 'how fast he was going downhill'.
I said 'enjoy it while you can...it tends to stop all of a sudden.' His wife laughed, which pleased me as she looked like a woman I would like. I wonder if she was pleased I stopped his complaining for a moment, mild and cheery tho it was.
Oh my...look at the time! It's getting away on me. Not that I'm complaining.