Interview with Byron Part I

Hi Byron. How often do you Google yourself?

Not since I was a teenager.

They didn't have google back then...

Sorry, I thought maybe you meant diddle.

No...it's a search engine.

Man...they have a motor that will find things for you now?

No it's a... Look. Never mind that. Why did you become a songwriter?

I can't tell you how many people have asked me that.

I don't want you too.

Right. Well, I became a songwriter because....can I get back to you on this one?

Sure...How many songs have you written?

I think that is a matter for the courts to decide.

Oh. Are you having some legal problems?

Not really problems. They charge me and I pay.

Who have you payed?

Mostly the really persistent ones.

Can you name names?

Sure...Peter, Janice, Helen..I like Helen a lot....

That's not what I meant.

But that's what you said.

Yes, but I meant the persons you have paid. How much time do we have? Maybe we should get on with the interview...
Are you intentionally obtuse?

Hell no. But since I turned fifty everything I eat goes straight to my hips.

See! You're doing it again.

I'm saying it's not intentional. Meals are funny that way. Once you get started, you just can't stop.

I don't really want to discuss your weight.

No kidding. I waited a half hour til you got here.

Okay, you got me there. What is your favourite song?

Stairway to Heaven.

I mean that you have written.

Are you saying I didn't write Stairway to Heaven?

Yes I mean No you didn't...

Wow. That's a real bummer...easily my biggest hit...hear it everywhere.

This conversation answers a lot of questions for me, Byron.

That's terrific! Can I ask you one?

Why not...

What else didn't I write?