Why I won't play the Winnipeg Folk Festival

From time to time I get these bright ideas that show how dim I can be.

For instance, yesterday I applied to perform at the Folk Festival. Their response was suitably quick, in a form message form, which to the average soul would offer some hope that it would indeed be possible. It stopped me dead in my tracks as it requested some form of cyber press kit to be delivered to the Director to save paper wastage. Very noble, I thought, trying to forget that I live in a paper milling town which is on its economic death bed because of the soft world market for paper. The harsh reality for me is that I have no such thing, so I opted for application option two, which was to send my latest CD and a one page paper bio in a paper mailing envelope addressed to the Director.
Wait a minute! Didn't they just...? Ah well, another day perhaps.
Let me make clear that this is not much of an option for me either as I don't have any commercially released CD's at all, much less a latest one.

Hmm. What to do? At this point I don't have an application suitable for submission, much less withdrawal. I sensed a quagmire encroaching on my gentle balance of life and solid footing here in the Gulag.

It is probably best to mention why I wanted to play the Festival in the first place. My motive is to get my good buddy Steve Bell and his wife Nanci some shade during their annual pilgrimage to the event.
Stop shaking your head and listen. (This will all add up by its conclusion.)

Blithe spirit that I am, I figured to engage Steves' talents on guitar and vocals and thereby ensure back stage passes and the chance to mingle with his peers in the cooling shade they provide...as well as a good measure of protection from the inevitable rain showers. I could care less about playing the thing...I have performed there many times previously, albeit some years ago, so I have experience with the grand manner in which they treat all the artists. And the organizers and volunteers do just that.

This begs the question. Byron, you arrogant pr**k! What makes you think you are up to snuff and should even be considered? Simply put...I am. I write simple songs, perform them simply, and the best of them are good. So why not?
I suffered thru Winnipeg winters for almost thirty years and have still somehow retained a fondness for the city and the province. My songs are about the people there. I write about love and heartbreak and peace and contentment, freedom and joy...the things I've come to believe in.
I could go on and on, but modesty, although threatened, is still standing, so it behooves me to change course about now.
Should I continue to pursue this bit of madness? Will I continue? Dunno.
It all seems corporate now, which is understandable considering the times and responsibilities of the keepers of the Kingdom, with all the necessary budget considerations and drawing power quotients and blah blah blah. I briefly considered getting some hoops to jump thru, but all things considered, I am not motivated to glamourize myself, and there isn't much left of me to polish anyway. Sigh...
So I guess I won't play the Winnipeg Folk Festival in 2011, but simply remain one of the regions great unknown treasures, to be celebrated after my death, a lowly aging songwriter who did his duty, as he saw fit to do that duty.
But it sure would be great for the Bells to have some shade next year.